my boys

I had big plans for a double bunny ears post this year.  Unfortunately, Aaron had other plans.  And his plans did NOT include wearing bunny ears while Mommy took pictures.  Lame.  His plans do, generally, include being ANYWHERE that Sam is, so I knew I was taking pictures of Sam, somehow Aaron would end up cooperating too.  

So I settled for some sweet brudder pictures.  I was able to ease the pain by dressing them in matching polos.  Not as cute as bunny ears, but pretty cute all the same.

As I said, they started out as Sammy pictures...serving also as a trap to lure Aaron in.

Sammy enjoying the spotlight.  

But my plan is working quickly...see him in the left corner?

 Got him!

 Uh, maybe not quite like that.

 Better...but my lens wasn't able to take clear shots of both kids at varied depths, so we'll have to reconfigure.

 Baby in front, big boy in back.  He's just checking on Sam to make sure he won't fall over.  Sweet boy.

 It looks like they are conspiring here...maybe I should rethink this.

 Finally, I put Sam on Aaron's lap.  Sam looks kind of uncomfortable, but we'll go with it.

 My boys.

Ha.  Seriously boys, get over it now.  I'm not going to stop.

 Success!

 Yay!

 I can't really tell if Aaron's doing a cute face or patronizing me again.  We'll go with cute.

 Hmmm...maybe not.

That was about the point that I set Aaron free to roam.  Sam, being unable to express his protest in words or action, was then subject to the bunny ears.  Love it.

 Again?

 Heehee.

 Happy bunny-baby.

Okay, it's over.  Good enough.

And finally, I posted this on Facebook...

Do you see a resemblance?  I see it maybe in their chin, cheeks and awareness that their mommy is a loon. Too bad for you, boys, the ears will be back next year too.

How about here?

Hoppy Spring!

four months old

Sam!  You are four months old today!  And I'm posting!  And I took your picture!  WINNING!!!

Yeah, I feel pretty good about it too.

So here's what Sammy boy is up to these days.

-Smiling and laughing.  Although that above picture is VERY cute, that's not really how he smiles.  Well, it is, obviously, but there is this split second, right before that above smile where his whole face just crumples up into joy.  

 

  

Kind of like that, but...smilier.  It's almost impossible to catch on camera, because it's just a quick moment, but it's so sweet.  

This shot is blurry and not really his best angle, but it comes a little bit closer to depicting that moment.  But only a little bit.  Maybe a video...someday.

-Holding his head up.  In the past month, he's come a long way.

At the beginning of April:

Head tilt, still kinda leaning the head back or on whatever was close. 

Better, but still a bit flopsy.

And now, look!  Like a champ!

 What you lookin at Mama?  Classic Sam face.

Soon we'll try sitting him up on his own.  He has done a little bit of the tripod sit, but it mostly ends on his face...and he's not a fan.  In fact, today he fell into my water cup.  Like actually into it.  The cup stayed standing (it was wedged in between two couch cushions) and he fell onto his face from a sitting position and one arm landed, plop, right into the water.  He was less than pleased.  Okay, we'll give tripoding another month.


-His brother.  Sam is into his brother.  Maybe not as much as his brother is into him, but pretty close.  He busts out a big grin any time he sees Aaron, even when it looks like Aaron is about to encroach on his personal space.

 It looks like Aaron's about to walk on Sam, but I assure you, he's not.  No, he's trying to sit on Sam's feet...in order to be as close to him as possible.  You know, how you do.

The only time Sam is NOT pleased to see Aaron is when Aaron wakes Sam up by screaming or poking.  Turns out that 4 month olds are easily disgusted when awoken abruptly.  I mean, no one LIKES getting woken up from a deep sleep but some people are...grumpier than others.  Downright mean, really.  Sam gets that from his father.  True story.  G.R.U.M.P.Y.  The other evening, Sam was sleeping on me while Isaac and I were watching TV and I wanted some chips.  I asked Isaac for them and he sat straight up on the couch and said "I am sleeping."  And laid back down.  Oh, okay.  GRUMPA.

Anyway...

-Sam's discovered the wonder of the Jumperoo.

His face looked like this the entire time he jumped for the first time.  Concentration.  And that may be the beginnings of a pointy slicer I spy there.  Only time will tell.

He's are still a little bit too short for some real good jumpin' but with a pillow propped under his legs, he will sit there for a good bit and have a grand ole time with the animals and toys.  

I'm sure you can use your imagination as to how interesting the bigger boy finds this as well.  We've established that Aaron may NOT get into Sam's seat, but we're still working on not shaking it violently while Sam is in it.  

Speaking of the bigger boy, 

Same jumperoo...same face...different baby.

December, 2008

-Sam LOVES to talk.  He's much more vocal than I remember Aaron being.  He does this crazy little yelpy noise to catch your attention and then just starts chatting away.  I've mentioned before but he also giggles like Ernie from Sesame Street.  Aaron likes to run up to Sam and say "AH GOO, SAM, AH GOO."  And most of the time, Sam responds with an "Ah goo" right back at him.  Chatty, this one.

-Drooling is also pretty high Sam's list of activities.  He kind of blows raspberries all the time, sometimes even with the accompanying noise.  Aaron says, "Mommy, Sam is spuh-illing.  Can you clean his face?"  Apparently his delicate sensibilities are offended by Sam's behavior, but so far, it doesn't seem to bother Sam. 

-In the interest of full disclosure (see my treatise in the post below), now would be the time to mention that this past month has not been friendly in terms of Sam's sleeping.  At the beginning of the month he got very, very fussy, so I took him into the doctor's to see if he had an ear infection.  It turns out, from my description, the NP was able to diagnose him pretty quickly with silent reflux.  Basically, it's reflux without the constant spitting up.  His stomach acid is traveling up and then he's swallowing it back down, making it burn his esophagus twice.  Poor baby.   Due to the fact that he's gaining weight like a champ, the doctors are reluctant to put him on any kind of prescription medicine for this issue, so we're currently trying some more practical measures to try to ease his pain - sitting up after nursing, lying upright or on his tummy, nose drops.  We've seen some results from these things, but he still struggles with his naps during the day.  I don't remember having this hard of a time with Aaron...but I'm very aware that a) they are different kids/personalities, b) Sam has these physical issues, and c) that Aaron started out in a much...quieter environment than Sam is currently living in.  So, alas, we are pushing through and hoping that his reflux will get better as he gets older and that his naps will start to be more consistent as time goes by as well.

In the meantime, he's keepin the cute coming, so that I don't mind having to hold him for 18 out of 24 hours a day.

Hey baby, four months looks good on you.  Keep it up.

Oh, and I'll be back with his stats after his well visit next week.  Although, at the sick visit that I mentioned before, he weighed in at a whopping 15.5 lbs.  To put that in some perspective, Sam was 3 months old at that appt.  Aaron weighed 15.5 lbs at his 4 month appt.  So Sam, having started out 2 lbs LESS than Aaron, caught up to and then surpassed him within three months.  And Aaron was no shrinking violent.  High five, Sam, way to eat. 

my treatise on parenting in the age of blogs

As I was working on Aaron's two-and-a-half-year-old post, I had some thoughts about documenting my children on this here weblog and raising children, in general.  And lucky you, I'm going to share them (in all their rambling glory) with you now.

Before I dump all of my philosophical wranglings on you, here's where it starts...a 4 month old is kind of kicking my butt.  

For the most part, Sam is a sweet baby.  He's so happy, a real giggler when he's feeling pleasant.  But the key there is 'when he's feeling pleasant'.  Because there is a good portion of the time when he's NOT feeling pleasant.  At the risk of oversharing, Sam struggles with silent reflux, constipation and gas.  (Sorry, future-teenage-Sam)  The combined result of those delightful maladies is a lot of crying.  In addition, Sam seems to be the kind of kid who gets overstimulated very easily.  He can't handle a lot of noise and when he gets overtired he has a really hard time calming back down.  

But, like I said, he's also pretty pleasant.  And, on top of that,  I've been here before...four months old, at least.  It's hard to compare because Aaron didn't have the physical issues that Sam's having, plus the overstimulation wasn't really a factor, since the house was pretty much SILENT in Aaron's first year.  No tv, no cable, no screaming older children.  Aaron also never really had a chance to get overtired, since I was a pretty regimented scheduler.  And Aaron thrived on that.  He was always well rested (although some people thought he slept too much) and therefore, always extremely pleasant.  And so, most of my memories from this time with Aaron are happy ones.  He was the quintessential "easy baby".

I know - Every baby is different.  Birth order matters.  It'll get easier.  I know all of those things.  I'm not lamenting this difficult season of no naps and crying jags.  This is more the background information to explain these thoughts I've been having about the blog and it's effect on my parenting.  

I wonder if I wasn't honest enough, during Aaron's baby years.  I have found that I've allowed myself to idealize Aaron's first year because, for the most part, it was pretty great.  But through the sanitized blog posts and in my memory, I seem to have glossed over the tough days of interrupted naps and clinginess.  I left myself no record or memories of the hard times and now, with Sam, I'm struggling with my inflated expectations of what this time should look like.  I was never trying to intentionally paint a prettier picture of how things were, but I was definitely always conscious that this blog is, in large part, their baby books.  And who wants to read about how they drove their mother crazy by refusing to nap in their baby book?  It seemed better, at the time, to focus on the good things and leave out the bad.

But as I'm quickly realizing, our memories are very quickly tainted by whatever "label" we place on a season.  

For example, in Aaron's two-and-a-half-year-old post, to tell the truth about what he's up to right now would definitely include his newfound love of limit-testing.  But I hesitate to add it because I don't want to label Aaron as a "Terrible Two" to the point where I forget that he was also a " Delightful Two", in equal measure.  While this blog is meant to serve as a lighthearted glimpse into our daily lives, I don't want it to be full of nontruths, by making it seem like he was the most cooperative two year old that ever lived (is there such a thing???).  

So, I don't want to sugar coat things because it's a slippery slope.  A slippery slope into making our family appear "better" than we are and a slippery slope into forgetting ourselves what these days are really like.  

But then, on the other hand, it's not that I want to hold onto the bad memories.  When not in the midst of holding a crying baby who hasn't napped all day or putting the two year old in timeout for the 890 time that day, I can honestly say that I love this season.  There are golden moments, each day, where I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.  And I know those will be the moments that I cherish when my babies are grown.   Do we, as moms, just eventually let go of all of the bad memories and only keep the good?  Something doesn't seem quite right in that either...how can we help a friend (or our future selves, for that matter) through these rough patches if we sanitize everything and lose track of how hard these things can be?


More than even how I represent our lives on this blog, I'm afraid that I'm labeling Sam as a "difficult baby" in my mind because it's feeling harder than I remember with Aaron and what if that label sticks?  What if that's how I remember my sweet Sam, whose smile lights up his face and crinkles up his eyes?  My Sammy, who giggles like Ernie from Sesame Street every time he sees his brother.  He's a true sweetheart, albeit a sweetheart who doesn't like to nap outside of his mommy's arms.


As you can see, I'm feeling pretty conflicted on the issue.  And, basically, my conclusion is that I should just be a bit more...real in my descriptions on the ole blog.  I'm not going to go out of my way to overemphasize the unpleasant stuff, but I'm also going to make sure to include it.  Mainly because I don't think it serves anyone to pretend that it isn't there - not me, not the boys, not you, the faithful few readers.  I just hope that I can do it in a way that won't make my boys cringe when they read about it years from now.  More than anything, I would hate for them to think that I didn't love being their mommy.  

Or for them to think they were immune to the terrible twos.  Because hello, everyone should watch a video of themselves in full force two year old glory as a good dose of humility and so they can thank their mamas for putting up with them.


If you're still reading this, I hereby award you the "Most Loyal Reader Ever" prize.  Congratulations!  You won yourself insane amounts of photos in the next few posts.


PS - My apologies if none of that made any sense.  My brain capacity is seriously decreased these days.  I washed my cell phone the other day.  In the washing machine.  While giving myself a pat on the back for remembering to do some laundry.  That's the kind of awesome we're dealing with around here.  Talk about keepin' it real.

i don't wanna miss a thing

title shout out to aerosmith.  it's against my better judgment, but thanks to american idol, i'm kinda obsessed with steven tyler.  if lovin him is wrong, i don't wanna be right.

Anyhooo....

As Sam is approaching different milestones, I've been using this blog to help me remember where and when Aaron also hit the same milestones.  Usually the attempt to quickly refresh my memory turns into an hour long, weepy stroll down memory lane.  Because, gah, isn't it true that you think you'll never forget the sweetness of a moment, but alas, you do.   At least I do.  My already faulty memory has been seriously taxed by two babies.


Anyhooo....


I've treasured reading back on the blog and remembering different points in Aaron's 2.5 years.  And, unbeknown to my loyal readers, I've also been keeping a list of cute things that Aaron has said over the past year or so, with the idea that I'd post them...eventually.  Seriously, I will.  I know all three of you who read this are clamoring for some extra cute in your daily lives, so who am I to deprive you.


And then today, I realized that while we often giggle about the funny things Aaron says, (Like last night when he kept shouting "Daddy can't crap, Daddy can't crap!" and I honestly have NO idea what he was trying to say, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't that) there are a lot of things that he does every day that I might not remember two, four, seventeen years from now.  And quite frankly, I don't wanna miss a thing.


I don't want to forget...

how Aaron holds my hand as we walk from room to room in our house.  

how Sam is at that infernal stage where I honestly contemplate taping the binky into his mouth.  (if you don't currently have a 3 month old, you are in no position to judge.)

how Aaron and Isaac play a game at bedtime that involves running, jumping on beds and saying "I love you" over and over and over.  And it never fails to get serious giggles from Aaron.

how Sam is at that delightful stage where he face breaks into the sweetest, biggest smile at the site of a friendly face. 

how Aaron has discovered the fine art of stalling the inevitable.  The last puzzle piece before naptime takes 10 minutes to put into place and we simply must read the Author's Note blurbs at the back of each book before bedtime.

how Sam's laugh sounds like Ernie from Sesame Street.

how Aaron tells me "Aaron does NOT need a tissue" when he notices that his nose is running or "Aaron does NOT need a diaper change" when, uh, he's very aware that he does.

how Sam struggles to fall asleep in his crib but passes out within minutes of being held.

how Aaron refers to himself in the third person all.the.time.

how Sam can always be counted on for some big smiles after eating.  Kid loves to eat.

how Aaron struggles with pronouncing certain blends, so he says "suh-nuggle, suh-mile, suh-weetie".

how Aaron has started singing along with songs, but only if he thinks you aren't listening because he's a shy performer.


how Aaron says "Aaron can not ________."  (fill in the blank with anything I'm asking him to do...eat his dinner, take a nap, change his diaper, clean up his toys.) 



These are the moments that make up our daily lives...and will probably fade from memory as Aaron begins to get more independent and Sam begins to develop more personality.  I'll probably remember the timeouts because of sheer volume.  And I'll probably remember how I found Aaron shoving an entire alphabet of magnetic letters into the fireplace grate the other day because ew, I had to stick my hand in the soot and cobwebs to fish them out, while Sam was screaming, dinner was burning and we were expecting 20 people at our house in two hours.  So yeah, our first taste of mischief was memorable.  

But how sad would it be if I didn't remember that everyday we hold hands as we walk from the family room to the living room to pick out a new puzzle.  Our days are not idyllic, but there are so many sweet moments and I really should make more of an effort to treasure the good.  

Because he probably won't hold my hand forever.  And my head thinks I should amend that sentence but my heart refuses to erase that 'probably'.

evolution of a bromance

When I found out we were having a second son, I was pretty excited.  Although I'd love to have a girl at some point, I loved the fact that I'd have two little guys who could be best buds.  With Aaron, I didn't know what to expect as a Mommy to a little boy and it turns out, I love it.  So my thinking was that two boys would be double the little-man-fun with the added bonus of watching them grow up as best friends.

Unfortunately, my daydreams of peaceful domestic boy-related bliss were somewhat tempered by Aaron's kind of lackluster response during my pregnancy to Sam's imminent arrival.  I kept telling myself that it was an abstract concept for him to grasp, but the fact was that he was pretty indifferent towards the idea of a baby in general.  He basically ignored any babies of our friends and pretended like he couldn't hear me when I'd talk about a baby living in our house.  We even bought a baby doll, in the hopes of encouraging some kind, caring feelings.  Nope, he was only interested in the fact that the baby doll would toot and burp after a bottle.  Nice.  And then when Sam first arrived, it was kind of like pulling teeth to get Aaron to acknowledge him.

Exhibit A

Here's the fake smile version, after I made turned off the TV and said, you can be done holding Sam as soon as you SMILE AT MOMMY.

 

Can you tell he's humoring me?  Delightful.

Then slowly, he started feeling Sam out.  Kind of like with an unfamiliar dog, Aaron would just put out his closed fist in Sam's direction and then look at us like, is this safe?  After a few tentative fist bumps, Aaron saw Sam was pretty tame and warmed up.


Then suddenly, somewhere around early February, Aaron decided he LOVED his brother.

And these days he cannot get enough of Sam.  He loves to tell us what Sam is doing at every moment and will stop playing every so often just to run over to wherever Sam is and check him out.  Poor Sam is patiently enduring a lot of friendly poking, although Sam's not always quite so forgiving when Aaron wakes him up from a deep sleep.  Me neither, really.  House rule is "You wake it, you take it."  Aaron's not buying it.  Bummer.


A few cute brother interactions lately...


We've been trying to help Aaron understand why Baby Sam cries.  He tends to laugh at him, which we're trying to curb, since uh, it's not nice.  The other day, I was in the kitchen, Aaron was playing in the family room and Baby Sam was napping in his swing in the living room.  Sam woke up and started crying.  Aaron ran from the family room and grabbed my hand in the kitchen, yelling "Hurry Mommy, Baby Sam is cwying!  He needs us!"  And he pushed me, with dripping wet hands, into the living room to help Baby Sam.  

He also runs to inform us, on a regular basis, "Oh no Mommy Baby Sam losed his annuder binky!"  Translation:  Sam's pacifier fell out.  The debate is warring within me...do I teach Aaron to put it back in and save myself some trouble but subject Sam to more invasive poking?  Probably not, right?



Aaron's also been repeating phrases that he picks up from us, my mom and other random sources (usually Mickey Mouse).  The other day we were getting ready to leave the house and Sam was crying in his car seat.  Aaron bent over the car seat, rocking it, and said "Aw, whatsa matter suhweetie?"  He calls his brother "suhweetie", "bud", "Baby Sam".  All cute.


Anytime someone is holding Sam and playing with him, Aaron climbs right up and wants to snuggle right up next to Sam.  He likes to hold Sam's hand too.  I would love to know what Sam thinks of all of this.  

Whenever I try to take pictures of Sam, Aaron is RIGHT THERE to participate.  Even though he doesn't want any pictures taken of himself.  Instead, about half of my pictures of Sam have a big ole head in the picture too.  Sam generally ends up looking kind of bewildered.


I could go on all day about these two brothers...but I won't.  I'll just show you.  Because these pictures, they speak much louder than any words.

 

 I had propped Sam up to take some pics of him. 

 

And Aaron can't resist a chance to love on him.

 Poor Sam.  Utterly bewildered.

 But he really does like it too.

 There's that tongue again!  And they are holding hands.

 That's nice, Aaron.  Use your brother's head as a prop.  

 Contemplating his brotherly love.  Uh, sure.

 This makes me laugh.  Okay, maybe they look a bit alike here.

 And here.  Teehee.

 Same face again.  These outtakes are better than the final shots.

Is this a comedy routine?

 Sam's bewildered again.  But cute.

 That was my victory shot.  Two smiles...not both looking but I'm not picky anymore.

 Anytime I put Sam on the floor to play, he has an instant playmate by his side.

 
Whatcha doin Baby Sam?
 

 You are twelve weeks old, Sam.  Time to start reading.

 Okay, Aaron will read to you for a little while, but you better get your act together and start pulling your own weight soon.

 This just melts my heart.

 This is blurry but seriously...every.single.time I put the kid down.  And a lot of times when I'm trying to take photos of Sam...there is a mysterious brown head bobbing into view or casting shadows.  But I'll take best buddies over perfect photos anyday.

 Patting Sam through tummy time.  And when he cries during tummy time, Aaron just lays his big ole noggin right down on Sam's back.  Not so comforting but at least it keeps him from rolling out of tummy time everyday.

 Look, Aaron's baby sitting.  

 Nugglin (snuggling) wif Baby Sam.

 Snuggling quickly turns into poking.  Aaron saw us pushing on Sam's nose and saying "Boop" to make him laugh.  And now he pokes him.  A lot.  While yelling "BOOP!"  Usually while Sam is sleeping.  Cute, right?

 Boop!  Sam seemed to like it...this time.

 Giving kisses.  Sweet.

 Playing soccer together.  Aaron's super into soccer...so, obviously Baby Sam wants to play too. Obviously.

 
 

 This would have been a real winner if my camera strap hadn't fallen in front of the lens.  Sigh.

Like I said, best buds.  Just like I had hoped.  

We're really trying to tread the fine line between keeping Aaron from annoying/disturbing/injuring Baby Sam and keeping him full of love for his brother and interacting with him.  I'm allowing more poking than I ever though I would, simply for the fact that I want Aaron to want to play with Sam.  We'll just pray that he continues to think he's the bees knees when Sam starts to crawl around and steal Aaron's stuff.  But since I don't allow crawling until nine months, at the earliest, we've got a few good months left.  (Did you hear that Sam?  I do.not.allow it.)